When I was seven I have started to go to the catholic school. It wasn’t a lot about God, just that The Church supported our school, so I think it was more important to keep the name of it. Though I have heard quite a lot about God and we used to go sometimes to the church. Also me and my sister were singers, our group was called “two sisters” (lol) 
. We were kind of entertainers for the kids ( we were about 7- 11 years old). One summer when I was 10, we went to the summer camp to do our performance and it was Christian camp. We really liked it and my parents met some people that changed their lives and ours too. So we stayed in this camp. And the next year too. So that’s where I have found God and I believed in Him. When I was 11 I was baptised. It was so exciting for me, I just remember that I didn’t want anything more, just HIM.
Well, it seemed as it is going to be an easy life, going to the church, my dad is the leader of the worship team, we had Bible studies at our home. But it wasn’t. First of all, we were quite poor and I remember eating only potatoes the whole year (baked, cooked, mashed … ) perhaps that’s why I don’t fancy them so much The things in family seemed to change and everything got better. But not at school. I didn’t have any friends. My classmates didn’t talk to me ‘cuz I was ugly, had crooked teeth, was fat, didn’t have nice clothes. My teachers hated me for going to concerts and being late for school. My grandma never wanted to have me around, because my sister was the favourite one. She always used to say that I am fat too, but I was the same as my sister. My parents never believed me. So I was pretty lonely.
When I became 15 I think I have started to realize how much I need God and how great HE is! So I had HIM! even though I had Him always by my side! When I was 16 the same people who laughed at me chose another ones to laugh at, and it was some of the girls who are really best friends of mine. I remember one time, one said, oh hun, I know now how hard it must have been for you. But worse it was that after few weeks they turned against me and then I was alone till I was in the 12 class. It was just painful for me. Because I needed friends. But I am very naive, I think that’s the worst thing in me. I always believe everyone. Also I was in a big depression, because when I was 16 my sister left our house and next year she got married. All my life I was the one who always said NO in our family and always argued about lots of things with my parents, because I want to prove the truth So then I became calmer, always tried to do more things when I had to, just to avoid people.
From the time when I was 17 I was praying every day to God “ God, please, just show me somehow, that You are with me. I know YOU are with me, but I just need to feel YOU” And I felt so bad for praying for that, because I knew HE is with me, but I just couldn’t stop praying for that. I have tried to avoid it in my prayers, but my mind was stronger than words. Anyway, I have passed my exams very good, passed driver license, got into the University. Everything seemed to be really good. But I was praying for that anyway. And I felt even worse because I was like a princess but still wasn’t happy. So I have started to be angry with myself. And then I have finished one year at the University and left to England. The only way my dad agreed to let me go was if my aunt gonna take me, so I wanted to earn some money and I have helped her in the factory where she works. My parents warned me before leaving, it’s going to be really hard work, but I didn’t want to listen, I just wanted to go, to leave everybody. Now – I was 19, just before my 20th birthday.
So I was at my aunt in England and I was still praying. I became 20. I really hated there, really, I didn’t like the job, but when my parents asked how is it, I said oh, it’s so easy, it’s great – I LOVE IT. But I have cried so much and I prayed even harder, “God the only thing I want is to feel YOU”. So it took me 3 years, 3 years to get what I got. I remember one night I just fell asleep and I was standing in the middle of the road, it was so dark and finally I saw the motorbike coming straight into me. I wanted to move, but I couldn’t. I have tried so hard, but couldn’t and then a woman hugged me and moved me out of the way and said it’s gonna be all right because you are HIS child. The best thing was to feel the warmth, God’s warmth and spirit. I woke up and I have started to cry because of the words she said : HIS CHILD. It was everything I needed. I was so happy.
Then I told my parents how I really feel about my life there, so I have found au-pairs job. But I was too busy to do everything perfect, that I got tired and I have left after almost a year to Germany, to my sister. I thought it’s going to be better there, to have holidays and decide what to do later. But it wasn’t the place where I had to be. So I went back home. I was still struggling with my depression and the problem was that I couldn’t forgive. I couldn’t forgive my parents, I couldn’t forgive for lots of people.
Finally I have found a job in Baydon. I knew that I will get this one, because when I read it, it was like someone would have told me this one is yours. And I looked up for the town where it is and it said USA and I have started to laugh, I told my mum, you will see I will get this one! SO I am going to USA She said yeah, couldn’t you find closer, go to Mexico. But anyway I checked again and UK had the same town, so I though OK, this one is in UK. And after one hour I got a letter from that woman, that she would like to get some references and the next day she wrote she wants me to come. So we have decided that I am going to come in one month. And I have started to look for the church in Swindon and found Citifaith church I read a lot about all of the churches but this one I liked the most. And I thought it’s going to be like the one I was going at home. But it is even better!
Before leaving my house I worked so hard to leave my depression and it worked, now I have started to have self-confidence, I am not afraid of the mike, not afraid of the people though not as much as before. And the best thing is that God is in the first place for me now.
ON SATURDAY WHEN I WAS WORSHIPPING I FELT HOW THE HOLY SPIRIT CAME DOWN ON ME AND I JUST FEEL SO DIFFERENT, IT’S JUST AS I WAS LIBERATED FROM EVERYTHING WHAT REALLY KEPT PULLING ME BACK ON MY DEPRESSION AND AS LUCY SAID ON TUESDAY SOMETIMES IT TAKES SUCH A LONG TIME TO FEEL THE PRESENTS OF GOD, YES IT TOOK ME 3 YEARS AND IT WASN’T EASY TO WAIT. AND GOD SAVES ME TOO, I AM REALLY CONFIDENT DRIVER AND ON WEDNESDAY WHEN I WAS DRIVING HOME, THE TRUCK JUST JUMPED IN FRONT OF ME, WHEREAS HE DIDN’T SHOW ANY INDICATORS, BUT I HAVE MANAGED TO STOP. AND ON SUNDAY I WAS CHEERING IN THE CAR, SINGING AND DRIVING TO THE CHURCH AND WAS DRIVING ON THE HILL AND JEEP CAME FROM THE OTHER SIDE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD. I WENT IN TEARS, BUT I JUST KNOW THAT GOD IS ABOVE EVERYTHING AND HE IS STRONGER THAN THE DEVIL! HE LOVES US SO MUCH BECAUSE WE ARE HIS CHILDREN.
-Eglė – Swindon
